November 29th, 2011
Every day, several times a day, I compose marvelous posts. I right the wrongs of the world, chew out ignorant drivers, belittle Christians who apparently have never read a word of the Gospel, and enlighten self-absorbed boobs who think Republicans are human. I chronicle all my various projects (I have projects. Really.), describe with humorous aplomb all the antics of my pets and lanky, truant teenager, and wittily discuss my latest reading adventure.
In my head.
My excuses for not actually writing these posts are legion. I can’t really write that ;way; I’m doing real work, I have no before pictures, so why write about a project if no one can SEE the before and what a magnificent difference I’ve made?
Truth is? I’m lazy. And I suck. There you have it. The Universe is doomed. I could have saved the Universe, but I’m lazy. And I suck.
Did I mention I’m also rather silly?
Categories: Self |
Tags: blogging, Self, self-pity, silliness | Comments Off
October 24th, 2011
My daddy always used to say “…the road to Hell was paved with good intentions.” I wonder if that extends to those of us with ADD who start out with such good plans to change ourselves, to raise our kids right, keep the house clean, grow veggies, eat veggies, walk the dogs…. Well, you get the idea.
I was looking for notebook paper to once again try and make a monthly menu so I could shop more efficiently and I thought, oh, that binder I have…the one with the white horses on it…I’ve never kept up with the journal I started in it, literally 20+ years ago…there’ll be a ton of unused notebook paper in there. It’ll be a bit old, but still usable, no need to open one of the spare packs I have for the kiddo. Well, yes, there was, is, a ton of notebook paper in it. Also, dividers (labeled “Contract,” “Routines & Lists,” “Journal,” “Menus & Shopping,” “Diet & Workout”, a contract with myself, and a zipper pouch of pens, ruler, and stickies. “facepalm” Wanna know the date? 19 JUL 09. Yes, 2009. *eyeroll and another facepalm*
I don’t know whether to be heartened by the fact that apparently nothing’s (or very little) changed in my outlook, or to be very disturbed nothing’s changed in my outlook.
*confused look*
So, here’s the contract I wrote out then (and I REALLY wish WP would preserve Word formatting):
I. Whereas –
A. I am tired of being…
- tired all the time,
- fat,
- stiff,
- in pain,
- in a disaster zone,
- financially out of control,
B. I am disconnected from…
- family,
- my body,
- nature,
- the Divine,
- my creativity,
C. I am Squandering…
- years,
- talents,
- resources,
II. I recognize I am…
A. Intelligent,
B. Talented,
C. Resourceful,
D. Determined,
E. The only one who can change ME
III. Therefore, I resolve…
A. To Rejuvenate by…
- stretching,
- following a workout plan,
- getting the proper amount of rest,
- making healthy food choices,
- develop my household routines,
- create and follow a budget and pay-off plan
B. To reconnect by…
- having family meals at the table,
- include Mother in more things,
- meditate and pray
- invite the Divine in through prayer and ritual,
- set aside time for creating,
C. [To remind myself]….
- life is short, spend every moment wisely,
- things don’t have to be perfect,
- appreciate and use what I do have and not bemoan what I don’t have,
- life is a work in progress and will never be finished.
IV. My priorities are…
A. To not overload by…
- trying to do it all at once,
- losing perspective,
- expecting immediate results,
- forgetting the larger picture by getting caught up in the details.
B. Every night…
1.review the day
a. What did I accomplish?
b. What was left undone?
- move to the next day –or–
- re-evaluate – do I need to do it
–tomorrow?
–another time?
–does something else need to get done first?
- Does a schedule or routine need to be changed based on a/b?
- [Write in journal, especially things I am thankful for]
2. review and prioritize tomorrow
3. follow the routine
C. Remember I am part of the web…
1. I am central to my, if I don’t care of my needs, no one else will,
2. [but] I also touch and impact others,
3. some small thing I do –or don’t do–can resonate billions of light years away, plucking the web and thereby change the Universe,
D. don’t let “C” get [me] down,
E. don’t be your own worst enemy,
F. follow thru through [hahahahah]
G. KISS (keep it simple, silly!)
19 July 2009 then, is the first day of the rest of my life, the day I choose to be reborn. I make this covenant with myself, the Divine within and without as my witness.
I was going to rewrite or type up the contract but I want it to be as is, imperfect, fluid, dynamic, and alterable, like life itself.
Follow through!
//signed//
19 July 2009
————————————-
It would be laughable…it is laughable…but it’s exactly what I would write today. There’s some reason I found this today, some pivotal moment, I suppose. Trying not to read too terribly much into it, but I’m renewing this and am going to put effort into seeing it through.
Categories: Self |
Tags: about me, questions with no answers, Self, things that make you say WTF? | Comments Off
March 31st, 2011
At least one of my friends likes to post a “things I like” list every now and then. She’ll post different themes of “ten things.” I must admit, I’m not nearly so ambitious, but then Dianne’s written four books now (three are published, the fourth is being published), and is writing a fifth, she blogs constantly and writes “other fiction” on a regular basis. To be completely honest, when it comes to writing, she is what I wish I were. Ha! I always have been a dreamer.
But, as they say, I digress.
This is just a general, “here are things found on the intarwebs I love plus” list.
1. I love planners. I never keep them up like I should, but the idea of organizing my life on little lined pages just enthralls me. As I said, I always have been a dreamer.
2. Like Dianne, I love sticky notes; my planners have a plethora of sticky notes in them (which is a problem with digital planners: where the hell do you put the sticky notes??). But I also love paperclips and binder clamps. Once again, I think it’s the whole organizational thing….I picture all my papers and to-dos neatly clippered and clamped with nifty clips and I’ll be able to look at a stack and presto! I’m saved.
3. I love boxes. Of any kind. Boxes. And more boxes. And even MORE boxes. See above. My family believes I secretly know if I get enough boxes, my problems will all be solved. Heh…yeah…I’ll get back with you on tht. (OMG….that search sets my heart to fluttering…BOXES!!) Oh…and these, too.
4. Let’s face it, I love office/school/art supplies. Period. Different colored pens, markers, sticky notes, notebooks, paper, blank books, rulers, sketch pads, pastels, brushes, you name it. *sighs*
5. I love this room.
6. I love these bookshelves.
7. I love my new washer and dryer. After all the hassle of getting the washer to work and a part replaced, they work great. (Maytag Centennial series).
8. I love my boss. Not that way. He rocks. He might be a colonel, but he checked his ego at the door. He’s still intense, demanding, and a control freak, but once you understand that he’s all about the mission, you get it. There are still days when I could cheerfully boot him in his flightsuited arse, but then I can also TELL him when he annoys me. The other colonels I’ve worked for? Oh, hell no. He’s PCSing this summer and I’m gonna miss him.
9. I love April and October. which just happen to be my and my son’s birth month (April) and my mother’s and three of my best friends’ birth months and my anniversary month (October).
10. Kismet. Via Facebook I just found this. I love it. What amazing advice from such a youngster 
.
Now, if you’re paying attention (and actually have taken a look at Dianne’s lists), you’ll notice a big difference. She actually writes about each item, discusses it, tells you why she likes it, irrationally or not. I suppose that’s telling. It tells me why she’s a writer and I’m not. But it also tells me I can’t always tell you why I like something. Or, conversely, why I hate something. (Although I can easily tell you why I hate some of the ignorant stupidity surfacing these days. [Again, I digress.])
Categories: Lists, Odds'n'ends, Self, the intarwebs |
Tags: about me, blogging, decorating, Friends, lists, Self, Ten things | Comments Off
November 13th, 2010
I can’t figure out if I’ve really been that busy or if I have a mental block against posting…or if there’s just so many ideas running around in my ADHD-addled brain that I can’t figure out what I want to post on. If I posted on every little idea that staggers along, there’d be a kabillion and one little, disjointed posts. I have a notebook with me, but usually when I’m thinking about such things, I can’t write…you know, potty breaks, on the bus, etc. (I can’t read, write, crochet, or use the computer in a moving vehicle or I get seasick).
Recently I’ve had posts in mind about obesity, politics, religion…huh…what else is new…but also my house, products, decorating, sewing, etc, etc. *sighs* I guess if I can’t actually DO those things, I can waste time writing about them eh?
In tech news, Microsoft has done some king of weird merge with Instant Messenger (IM) and all your social media. The result…crap. I use my Hotmail account for two things (well, three, if you count IM): Facebook and for those things online where you don’t want to put your REAL email account. I don’t want it, or FB connecting to everything else I have. It’s not that I have anything to hide, per se, but there are elements of my life I’d just really not like terribly public, you know? FB is my public face. I have friends who are co-workers, students in our department, relatives, friends who are not necessarily in my “inner circle,” as it were, and I’d rather the two worlds not collide. although a couple of my close family read this site, I’d really like to keep the rest of the fambly blissfully ignorant of it. R says-re work and the ‘net–to get ready for the “cloud.” WTF-ever the “cloud” is. I neither want nor need my life clouded, thank you very much. There is a sufficient number of people, were they to stumble across this site and read it, who could quite handily figure out who I am. That’s fine, I have no problem with that, but I don’t want to advertise.
I have an LJ account and I’ve not posted out there in ages. Every once in a blue moon, I go out and catch up on everyone’s posts (I have about 6 or 7 friends there), but haven’t felt compelled to post. I’ve even been half-tempted to delete my FB account recently, after a mutual FB/LJ friend (and a very close personal friend) posted that some of her FB friends should “shut [our] cakeholes” in response to a comment on FB, and a vicious attack by a guy I went to HS with. (Did you know, all you liberals, that we’re un-American, stupid, ignorant, uneducated morons? Makes me wonder how the hell I graduated from one of the top universities in this country in a fairly difficult degree, with a high GPA and how I got the job I have, with the military, no less…dang…I’m such an un-American moron. Ppfftt)
The cakehole thing is a perfect example of the anonymity of the internet. While this friend might have gotten testy with me in person for saying something (and trust me, it really wasn’t that bad), she never would have gone off on anyone the way she did on the ‘net. (To put my feelings in perspective, she said several people had made comments, but as far as I could see, I was the only one.) Perhaps I’m overreacting; it has been known to happen and I will admit the post was not directed at me personally, but I still was hurt.
(For the record, I find the terms “piehole” and “cakehole” to be extremely rude and offensive, so perhaps that added to the overall feeling of hurtness. Dunno. They’re just words I never use, kind of like “scumbag,” or “douchebag.” Just.plain.rude.)
I find, in general, that we say things–well type them–behind the shield of the ‘net that we would never, ever in a million years say person to person. Makes me wonder if WWIII will be caused by two or three heads of state going at each other via e-mail some day.
Categories: Daily Bull, the intarwebs |
Tags: Facebook, Friends, Instant Messenger, LiveJournal, questions with no answers, Self | Comments Off
August 31st, 2010
First off, I’d like to say how disappointed I was to find that this lady is no longer keeping this blog smoke and ochre. Rats. There are so many nice, nice pictures and all on it. But, you know…a kabillion, bazillion, and 93 blogs on the intarwebs and so little time.
Now that the energy devil is not sucking my aura away every day, I’m finding I have enough get up and go to get a few things done. After we decommissioned the old building on Friday, I skated. R had the day off (LBJ’s birthday, doncha know), so he took me to work, went home, slept in, then came and picked me up. We didn’t do much..picked up Taco Bell and came home. I crashed at some point and foo…what did we do Friday evening. I don’t even remember….OH! Crap, of course! Sylvan‘s party! Oy, such a knucklehead I am. Her first novel is coming out, officially on Tuesday! I’ve read the first…second?…draft, but changes were made after it went to the publisher…anyhoo, her BFF, the self-same Laura of Pushing Furniture fame, threw a surprise party. R, W, and I went. It was fun, and we totally surprised Ms. Author. 
Then we came home and I was kind of sick at 4 AM. Nauseous…and for awhile didn’t know which, erm…end….would be a problem (hoping that it wouldn’t be one of those, ah…double-ended things. I HATE that). But as soon as I “went,” the nausea went away and I was able to go back to sleep. Got up about 9:40 yesterday and spent a good bit of the day washing dishes and general clean-up, then went to Lowe’s and Tar-Jay. Spent way more money than I should have. Dammit. But I had most of the $50 GC Laura’s BF gave me for my birthday left. I bought a composter thingy. Now to get it set up. I had made a really cool FREE composter out of hardware cloth and a hula-hoop, but the dog can knock it over too easily to eat the scraps and eggshells. I’ll use that for grass and weeds before adding to the bin.Dorky dog. I got some plastic potted plant pans, a nifty cobalt blue glass mister (on clearance for $1.62!), and some hose parts to repair hoses. At Target, I got some groceries, another pair of black leggings, and a few items of make-up. Yeah, make-up. Gotta problem with that?
I also picked up a metric-ass-ton of paint chips at Lowe’s and then sat on my bed and played with kitchen design until two AM!
One of the reasons I never get anywhere is…well, it’s a many-layered thing…like an ogre. It is my decorating ogre. I can’t make up my mind…then I have no money…and I change my mind…things go out of style…I have no money….I get more craptastic hand-me-down furniture that needs “fixing” (refinishing, etc.) and just looks like early Salvation Army meanwhile….then I change my mind…and I can’t decide on a color scheme…ad nauseum.
I’ve gone from warm, earthy tones in the great room to working off the grey and charcoal palette in a print I have, back to the warmer tones. I want a mind of Mexican feel to the kitchen and since the two rooms are, um…rather linked, to suddenly go to greys and blues would be weird. Also? I have this olive fabric, like 22 yards of it, for a slipcover for the sofa, and it wasn’t fitting in with the greys in my mind. Well, it would, but there are tones of blue, charcoal and a deep, deep red-brown in the painting. I dunno, it might still work. Otherwise, I’m not sure what to do with that piece. Feh.
So anyway, here’s the latest grouping, sort of, of colors. It seems a bit washed out on my monitor. paint link
There’ll be more of this, but I started this post three days ago, so I’m posting now.
Categories: My House, Projects, Week in Review |
Tags: Kitchen, My House, projects, remodeling, Self | Comments Off
