Now that the energy devil is not sucking my aura away every day, I’m finding I have enough get up and go to get a few things done. After we decommissioned the old building on Friday, I skated.  R had the day off (LBJ’s birthday, doncha know), so he took me to work, went home, slept in, then came and picked me up. We didn’t do much..picked up Taco Bell and came home. I crashed at some point and foo…what did we do Friday evening. I don’t even remember….OH! Crap, of course! Sylvan‘s party! Oy, such a knucklehead I am. Her first novel is coming out, officially on Tuesday! I’ve read the first…second?…draft, but changes were made after it went to the publisher…anyhoo, her BFF, the self-same Laura of Pushing Furniture fame, threw a surprise party. R, W, and I went. It was fun, and we totally surprised Ms. Author.

Then we came home and I was kind of sick at 4 AM. Nauseous…and for awhile didn’t know which, erm…end….would be a problem (hoping that it wouldn’t be one of those, ah…double-ended things. I HATE that).  But as soon as I “went,” the nausea went away and I was able to go back to sleep. Got up about 9:40 yesterday and spent a good bit of the day washing dishes and general clean-up, then went to Lowe’s and Tar-Jay. Spent way more money than I should have. Dammit. But I had most of the $50 GC Laura’s BF gave me for my birthday left. I bought a composter thingy.  Now to get it set up.  I had made a really cool FREE composter out of hardware cloth and a hula-hoop, but the dog can knock it over too easily to eat the scraps and eggshells. I’ll use that for grass and weeds before adding to the bin.Dorky dog. I got some plastic potted plant pans, a nifty cobalt blue glass mister (on clearance for $1.62!), and some hose parts to repair hoses. At Target, I got some groceries, another pair of black leggings, and a few items of make-up. Yeah, make-up. Gotta problem with that?

I also picked up a metric-ass-ton of paint chips at Lowe’s and then sat on my bed and played with kitchen design until two AM!

One of the reasons I never get anywhere is…well, it’s a many-layered thing…like an ogre. It is my decorating ogre. I can’t make up my mind…then I have no money…and I change my mind…things go out of style…I have no money….I get more craptastic hand-me-down furniture that needs “fixing” (refinishing, etc.) and just looks like early Salvation Army meanwhile….then I change my mind…and I can’t decide on a color scheme…ad nauseum.

I’ve gone from warm, earthy tones in the great room to working off the grey and charcoal palette in a print I have, back to the warmer tones.  I want a mind of Mexican feel to the kitchen and since the two rooms are, um…rather linked, to suddenly go to greys and blues would be weird. Also? I have this olive fabric, like 22 yards of it, for a slipcover for the sofa, and it wasn’t fitting in with the greys in my mind. Well, it would, but there are tones of blue, charcoal and a deep, deep red-brown in the painting. I dunno, it might still work.  Otherwise, I’m not sure what to do with that piece. Feh.

So anyway, here’s the latest grouping, sort of, of colors. It seems a bit washed out on my monitor. paint link

There’ll be more of this, but I started this post three days ago, so I’m posting now.

I did actually make some progress with “things” over the weekend, but you know…two steps forward, 19 back…and here I am again. Still with mounds of clean clothes to be folded and put away; I’d done all the dishes and spiffed up the counters, and there it is all to do again. Damned dishes…what is it with having to be washed every day?  I mean, really?  And then I tried to do myself in this morning.

I go now?

This cat, Valentino, who is very prone to urinary issues, has decided that even the soft wheat cat litter is not to his liking, so he’s been peeing on the garage floor next to the box, instead of in the box. *headdesk*  So, this morning, he’d done it again, so I grabbed what I thought was the hydrogen-peroxide kitty destinkum gallon jug. The stuff foamed up like it was supposed to and it usually has an odor, so I wasn’t too horribly concerned over the odd smell and the burning, tingling eye-thing.

Do you know what the major ingredient in urine is?  That’s right, Baby Bop, it’s ammonia!

Do you know what was in the white gallon jug?  That’s RIGHT, chlorine bleach!

Now…who knows what happens when you mix chlorine and ammonia?

Are we going to read the label first from now on?  You betcha, Red Rider!

I could certainly put my blog out there more; give it excerpts for people to google, paste it in comment forms more, add ads to it. But I really don’t want to. I’ve given the URL to a select few and if I get a few readers, cool. I really do doubt I’ll have more than a few friends and family reading. And that’s fine.

Part of it is that my blog is not really a blog…it’s more of a virtual tour of my disjointed mind. A lot of blogs have a theme, or a specific subject. There are totally insane people out there who have a design blog, a gardening blog, a wine blog, a dating blog, AND a personal one…. And they’re all perfect, and the author is gorgeous and went to some blue chip school and has perfect kids–or perfect animals and has decided not to spawn.  They decorate with a lot of white and use words like smoky texture to describe wine…and/or cheese. Just how does one evaluate smoky texture? Do you smell it with your fingers? Or  rub your nose on it?  Dunno about you, but that confuses me.

Know what also confuses me? How some people have time to read 90 blogs in a day. Good googly moogly, folks…do you ever do anything? Two of my best friends blog fairly regularly (thank goddess it’s not everyday!) and I barely have time to keep up with them. (And I have to admit, I have not followed all of Sylvan’s  recent posts on 30 books in 30 days…, sorry sweetie). I check FB every couple of days and Live Journal almost every day, but some bloggers have a list as long as my arm of pages they’re following. Do they actually read all those? Or did they read a post or two and decide to put them in their blogroll just in case they were stuck up a tree one day and had nothing to do (and happened to have an iPhone or netbook with them)?

Here’s an example. This lady is gorgeous and has bought and renovated a dozen houses…and she’s only 30. Talk about making an old lady feel like a loser!  But you know…by some standards I might not be all that successful, but then I think what I do. I help shape tomorrow’s leaders…officers who will be making big decisions one day. I have colonels taking my advice (and even a general or two over the years!). My pay sucks pond water, but what I do is important, and people respect me. I had my time of being a gorgeous 30-something, and while I wish to hell I hadn’t let my body go, I’m still a beautiful person. Even when I’m chewing you out.  And? I know the difference between a smell/taste and a touch sensation. Really, I do.

My hands have been killing me lately…sometimes making me yelp in the middle of conversations…just deep aching, in the big thumb muscle, the joints and the bones between the joints.  And the left hand is numb on top of it all.  I have so much to do and no one else to do it. And before you ask, no it’s not carpal tunnel. It’s arthritis and the numbness is due to thoracic outlet syndrome. I’ve had arthroscopy on both shoulders and I don’t get the numbness in the right side nearly as bad as in the left. But the pain…in the hands and shoulders, and the grip weakness…oh.my.goddess.  Anyway…not sure there’s much I can do about it.  My take home pay is going down because UT’s not giving raises* but our insurance premiums are going up. At the same time the deductibles and out of pocket cap are going up…so I’m paying out the fucking wazoo for insurance I can’t use.  Nice.  Goddamned Republicans.  GOP=Grand Obstructionist Party.

Several years ago, one of the NCOs at work had gotten her son a pair of hermit crabs.

He wouldn’t take care of them, so she gave them to me.  The poor things were in the little clear plastic Kritter Keeper they came in, with an inch of *growls* aquarium gravel, and she was giving them TAP water.  GAH!  So I did a bunch of research and spent about a 100 bucks getting a crabitat set up. Little guys were most appreciative and showed me by almost immediately moulting. The bigger one moulted several times and then went down and didn’t come up.  Spikey had “disrobed” over the tank heater and dried out.  So he’s buried with Caldwell, the Betta Fish, under the Texas Mountain Laurel in the front yard.  So…that left Tiny, who is now way bigger than the larger one was when we got them (he was itty bitty at first, hence the name).

I’ve been keeping Tiny in a Kritter Keeper, with the proper bedding, water, and a sheet of cling wrap to hold in the humidity, so he’s doing okay. But hermies are social critters.  He needs friends.  So I’m going to get one or two more crabs and set the terrarium back up. Scorpionis (Thank you!!) gave me another 10-gallon tank. I have this little wooden typing table—so very, very ubiquitous at UT. I think the furniture shop must’ve made a kabillion of them over the years. I took it and peeled the fake wood Formica off the top and painted it. It’s kind of a pale yellowish now, but I think some nice dark green or blue will be a better color for a crabitat. One tank on top and one underneath, then get some of this…

…which is 4” in diameter (it’ll take the crabbies a long time to get too big to get through it)

and connect them…like this

And see if hermies like crabitrails…hee hee hee

I started this post on Friday and now can’t remember what the “associated crap” was.  *facepalm*

*We are getting a one-time 2% payment, not a raise.  It’ll be in time for Yule and for me, after taxes, etc. will be about $450…better than a sharp stick in the eye, and just in time for presents, but geeze…really?

• Repair pavilion
• Sort, organize,purge bedroom and closet
• Build my bed
• Build outdoor cat run
• Build and install catwalks, hidey-holes
• Tear down roof over back deck
• Demolish existing deck
• Build new deck cover, screened in
• New deck..patio…?
• Landscape front yard
• Landscape back yard
• Repair drain in hall bath
• Replace tub, surround in hall bath
• Floor in hall bath
• Repair or replace dryer….or put up permanent clotheslines?
• Replace garage door
• Build kitty loo
• Finish sewing/craft/studio/office…room…space
• R’s bedroom…paint, floors, etc.
• Kitchen…OMG.
• New curtains in bedroom
• Rework wall’o'books in living room
• Finish purple desk
• Finish washstand
• Finish “buffet” chest for kitchen
• China cabinet project
• Dining room table and chairs
• What to do with family antique chairs?
• Table for deck/patio
• Coffee table madness
• Slipcover for couch and Loveseat
• Paint and attach plant platform to top of dog crate
• Crabitat project
• Tame the jungle in the kitchen
• Finish building R’s chair (I’ve only had the wood–already cut into the proper pieces–for 11 years…ELEVEN)
• Put a coat of wax on Big Dot’s bookcase
• New colors for bedroom?
• Scrape that GOD-AWFUL popcorn texture off the ceilings. Can you believe my Auntie J LIKES that shit? I’m thinking of sending it all to her in a box when I’m done.  When  they remodeled the house they’re in now, she asked for that crap, on purpose, and had sparkles added….  >.<  This is a woman with exquisite taste in everything…except, apparently, ceilings.

In other news, R has been commenting a lot on some website about smart phones or something. First he won a mouse, then a keyboard, then a $100 GC from Amazon, then another one… Then this past week, they emailed him and invited him to take part in some conference or other in Bellvue, WA. All expense-paid weekend AND he comes home with a prototype Win 7 phone. How fleeping cool is that? Finally, his writing starts to pay off! *gigglesnort* ETA: and then he won another $100 GC after all that!

Figured out how much money I had left. If I don’t pay one bill (a certain credit card that’s now really past due) I can get us by with cheap bread, bologna, beans, tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches…with the odd potato something thrown in. Going in to start a pot of beans in a minute and will make some kind of bread to supplement.

It’s just so bloody hot out. The A/C struggles to keep up and if you go outside, your core heats up and it takes forever to cool off. I hate the heat; why am I in Texas? Why?

Half an hour..then I can go turn on the sprinkler in my front yard.

Classic scene this AM…letting Abby out…she dashes in her run, bounding six feet in the air, chasing the birds out of her territory. LMAO. They love the seeds in the overgrown wild sunflower jungle out there. I cut one down…with a tree saw! it was easily ten feet or more (I couldn’t tell because it had fallen over) and the stalk was almost as big around as my chubby wrist. I think I will pull them up next year and plant more sedate hybrids in a controlled area. Geesh.

Now you get to be bored silly by what happened this week.

Continuing the settling in at work. My boss, goddess love him, is a big dork. He’s one of the smartest men I’ve ever known personally, and does not miss a thing. He’s all Air Force and everything he does is for the cadets or the AF. The move team should count its lucky stars they had him at the helm instead of some of the others we’ve had …or someone like his counterparts in the other two departments (one in particular, but we won’t go there, since this is a public forum, so to speak). We have this model F-22 Raptor on a stick…it replaced the model F-16 Viper that the construction company destroyed (another story), and it needed a place to live for the next 2 1/2 years while they build our new digs and we are tenants courtesy of UT Athletics (guess I shouldn’t voice my opinion about tearing down the stadium and building a 40,000-car parking garage for awhile, eh? *mad giggle*). So Bossman had this plan…and it came out awesome.  Pictures are worth a kabillion of my stumbling words.

They started with a photograph, taken by a friend of the architect who was in charge of the whole move. That was turned into a graphic, printed on 42″-wide strips of adhesive vinyl and then stuck to the wall. Then they made a board of a number of our photos on half-inch PVC. Then…they drilled thru the CMU wall and bolted the armature that supports the Raptor onto the wall.

It’s the first thing you see when you get off the elevator, and unless you’re braindead or stoned, you can’t miss it.  Very impressive. We moved the sign easel and there’s a blue and white plaque to the lower left of the plane now.  I walk out and find the colonel just staring at it at times…well, I gotta admit, so do I. Much more impressive than these pictures show, for sure.

My junior kiddo went to band camp this week. He had to be there at 8, so we dropped him off early and went to work…we were late all but the first day, because W was drrraaaggggiiinnngg his ass. *sighs* I’d get him to bed and then he’d get up and play on his computer..usually watching some sci-fi type series on Netflix. So we took the net key away…then he’d get up and read. Band camp is over now, and he’s talked to the counselor, so they know to try to help him this year. He’s got a purple polo band shirt (lol). I don’t know which is worse penance for flunking…not getting his transfer back into his school and having to go the one in our district so he loses all his friends…or having to wear PURPLE!!  Since he can still see the friends after school (most of them are supposed to be at his school anyway) and on weekends…I’m beginning to think it’s the purple shirt…and the fact that it’s a polo. Those are like, way uncool, donchaknow?

My fabulous son-in-law picked W up at noon all week and taxied him home. Did I tell you I adore my SIL?

Almost lost it at work.  Long story there, but suffice to say I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom, crying and talking to myself like Gollum. I really, really need a vacation. Not a day off. A bonafide vacation like with no family, no co-workers, no critters.  Maybe a padded room and Mozart….

Dryer ate my favorite knickers and the corner of one of my nities. Blasted thing. I guess the belts that hold the drum in place are tired, so the drum sags and there’s a space large enough to get my fingers into. Things get caught there, and dragged up to the top, where they catch and the drum keeps turning…The least damage they get is a brown, rust-ish stain. The worst is holes chewed thru them. No money to have it looked at now. I’ve been trying to hang things out–in this heat, it takes no time at all for them to dry–but have to watch the puppy because she loves nothing better than to jump and tear things off the line. Also…the dryer takes all the cat and dog fur off things, so if they’ve spent any time at all on the floor, I have to run them thru the dryer for just a bit

Goddamned fluff-muffin cat pees on everything. .Ben has decided to show his angst or …something…by peeing on things. So he’s in the cat-condo (crap, I need to finish that post). He was a barn cat rescue and never quite learned what my other cats know: You don’t pee in the house.  He’s nailed my bed a couple of times before, but this week he got a pile of clothes and clean sheets on my bed and the bed…thank goddess for waterproof mattress pads, eh wot? and a pile of things in R’s closet, including his good, everyday shoes. *grumble, curse, sigh*

Madame Bizarro gets critical acclaim. Well, I must admit, it’s from a friend, but I couldn’t resist posting it in the header. *giggle* A used to be my boss, once upon a time. There was a time when I was more than a little aggravated with her (and she knows that), but she’s really a great person and it’s very heart-warming that she stays in touch, since she’s moved about three times since she left here. <3 U, A.

Got rid of the stupid C-CRAP machine. My now ex-doctor is a sleep-specialist (don’t EVER tell one of those you snore), and he sent me for a sleep study. GAH!! I’m not sure how one is supposed to actually sleep with all that crap stuck to them. It’s no flaming wonder I woke up every 5 minutes or whatever. So supposedly I have sleep apnea.  Bullshit. I snore because I’m 100 pounds overweight and don’t get enough exercise.

To be fair, I did try the machine. When I could finally get it adjusted and my claustrophobia didn’t kick it, it was kind of a nice night’s sleep. But whereas it takes me like 10 minutes fall asleep without it, it would take 45 minutes of screwing around with the mask, etc. and then every time I move my head, it would blow cold air into my eyes. Feh. Took it back. Now at least it’s not sitting on the bedside table, guilt-nuking me. I can produce enough guilt for an small army all by myself, I don’t need help.

Must shower and go to store.  Yuck, I hate shopping…well, except at World Market, Container Store, and IKEA. 

Photo from http://www.navsource.org/archives/02/47.htm

This was taken 1 July, 1952, I was 2 months old and my dad was a Skyraider pilot on board that carrier–the USS Philippine Sea (CV-47, Essex Class)–on the left. The USS Barton, in the foreground is a destroyer, and the USS Iowa on the right is a battleship.

I’d kill to be able to ask him about this day…what all they did…

I often wonder what he would have thought about things today…cell phones, and PCs, and the amazing technology, the politicians, globalism, NAFTA, the fall of the American education system…and then I idly wonder if mediums are for real…

But I know he’s not there, waiting for any earthbound mortal. One of the alternate dimensions has a mathematical genius who can fly better by the seat of his pants than all your fancy-schmancy jet jockeys ever could.  He had his moments…when I could get so angry at him it’s a wonder my head didn’t implode, but he was Daddy.  And I have to stop writing now, because I’m going to cry very soon.

Click on the thumbnails below.

LT Bradford ca. 1952 (that's not the kind of plane he flew in the background). The oil on his flightsuit is from the AD Skyraider. The engine had to heat up to seal everything, until then, it spewed oil over half the ocean.

Paddling the Klepper in the living room. Ca. 1974, Cleveland.

VA-115 ca. 1952 and an AD Skyraider.

1. What’s the first color you see in the morning?

Depends which side of the bed I’m facing. Mostly though, stripey cat butt.

2. What color are your eyes?

Blue. No, green.      aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

3. What color do you wear the most?

Probably blue. I have a very boring, nondescript wardrobe (if you could even call it that).

4. What color do you never wear?

Orange! (well, except for burnt orange) and certain colors of green, yellow, and most shades of purple.

5. What color do you wear when you want to feel sexy.

Sexy? Me? Surely you jest.

6. What color gets you the most compliments?

Teals and turquoises are the best. They bring out my eyes and look very good with my redhead’s complexion. (I’m now grey, but I still have the coloring)

7. What color is your lipstick?

Lipschtick? Vot iss dis lipschtick of which you speak?

8. What color was your living room when you were growing up?

I lived at 17 different address by the time I was 17…I think I remember a gold living room, but I’d be willing to bet almost all of them were some shade of off-white, ivory, cream, ecru, oyster…

9. What color was your bedroom when you were growing up?

Again…17 places. I had a couple of favorites, though. When we first moved to Lincoln, we painted my first bedroom a robin’s egg blue.  It was light and cheery. After my brother moved down to the recroom in the basement, I got his old room and it was dark brown.  About the time my depression started…hmmm?  When we moved out to the country, I got to pick the colors in my room, and I picked a peacock blue and a bright apple green. I LOVED that room.  I’m going to try and reprise the colors in my sewing room.

10. What color are your sheets?

One set is a mellow gold and the other a deep avocado? Olive? not sure what flavor of green you’d call it.ETA: recently bought a set from IKEA that are a deep, luscious, eggplanty-purple.  Can’t wait to put them on the bed.

11. What color was your favorite crayon as a child?

“Prussian Blue”

12. What color is your car?

Black

13. What color was your prom dress?

One was black velvet, another dark blue velvet, but the one I wore to both my junior and senior proms (different cities, states, and schools) was a kind of greenish gold and white brocade…sort..of…thing.

14. What’s your favorite gemstone?

Garnet, Moss Agate, rainbow fluorite, onyx.

15. What is your favorite flower?

I have to pick one?!?!

16. What color makes you happiest?

A true, clear cobalt blue.  I can stare at cobalt glass forever. Although lately, I’ve been getting happy vibes from saturated wild colors like pink, turquoise, and purple.

17. What color depresses you?

It’s very funny, blue is my favorite color, but unless it’s dark either as an accent color or paired with lighter walls, I can’t stand it on walls anymore (except in S1ren’s bedroom, for some odd reason…). I guess I’ve lived too long or something, it just looks soooo dated it’s depressing.

18. What color calms you?

Blues, as long as they aren’t on the wall.

19. What color makes you grind your teeth?

Orange! Yellow on cars and a certain shade of purple.  *ralf*

20. What color would you like to try, but are scared to?

Bright saturated colors in decorating.  But Imma gonna do it!!

But you know, lately I keep thinking about the fact that I’m tired in mind, body, and soul…I’ve been working for nigh onto 40 years and quite frankly, there is no retirement in sight. Not unless the BOMITS fairy strikes.* Just knowing I spent almost 50 bucks on things I didn’t really need should be a large enough clue that I don’t handle money well, so it’s no stretch that I have credit up the wazoo that needs paying off. If I didn’t I’d be rolling in extra cash each month. What the hell is wrong with me, anyway?

I’m in too much pain in feet, hands, shoulders, hips, knees, wrists to even think about a second job. I’m dead when I get home from the first one as it is. No energy to do anything but eat some totally unhealthy crap, check email, play a few minutes of some mindless game, write a bit, read a bit (all of which can be done either sitting in a chair or in bed), and then die until 6:30 the next day. I know, I know, better diet, more activity=more energy, etc. I can’t even get to that point. I’m just bloody tired.

Said friend Laura (see below) goes home and knits a wildebeest after work. Now..I admit, I’ve got 23 years on her and carry more weight for my height, but it’s just agravating. There’s so much I want to do. A lot of it is just that my spirit is dead. I’ve been schlepping papers for someone else for so long, I have lost any sort of self identity. All I can do is be a cranky know-it-all. Is that all there is, Alfie?

*BOMITS: Bag of Money in the Street, credited to my gorgeous friend, Laura.